Halcyon

For several years I am still working but not with a job I dreamed to have. Looking back I was planning something blindfolded with no clear direction. It is a lesson learned now and all I can do is to share it with people who are in front of a turning point.
It's a fact that I still wish to make my father proud, I was successfull in getting his trust and confidence in me before but only to burn them with my own hands afterwards.
Maybe now it may be too late to make up for it. I am not getting any younger and my father's time here is getting shorter as well.
No matter how I try to release myself from my state now there's no way this world of reality will bend and turn things around changing to a parallel universe.
How many years do I have left?
Do I still have a chance?
I wonder what happened to the girl who always looks up at the blue sky, full of hopes... full of wishes.
All I can see is a girl who do not even have time to appreciate her surroundings, not even glancing. Her head is full of worry, full of things she have to do and full of regrets.
Smiling to cover up her true state, she's surprisingly good at it that nobody ever notices not even once.