Last Wednesday, 30th of June, we visited one of my aunts. We were having trouble with sprits which dwells at my mother’s place so we asked our aunt if she knows someone who can expel those entities. Fortunately she knows a neighbour who can do that. The lady came and after she advised us what to buy for the ritual to be done on Friday, I unexpectedly had my palm read, meaning I was given a palm reading. My mother is busy chatting with her brother and my aunt while my father is busy looking after my kids while we three sisters gathered around the palm reader.
My sister went ahead of me first and I listened to her reading eagerly butting in some jokes once in a while. So when my turn came I felt tensed but excited. Of all the things she told me, something hit me badly and that is my husband might have an affair, it can be during now or his next ship. He’s now a seaman and he became that despite of not going to college but he’s undergone a lot of trainings which my family literally is the financer. In my previous blog, I think I have mentioned about our story. What makes me infuriated is if that is going to happen, I mean, how dare he would think of even doing something like that when I chose him over my family, my bright future, gave up my everything for him and even undergone all the hardships which I’ve never experienced living with my parents but with him. So the lady said I should take care of myself more, go on a diet and make myself beautiful. She said that there is a possibility that if I will not do that, my husband will find someone better than me, well in terms of looks that is. As painful as it gets, she said when that happens I will swallow my pride and still accept him in order to keep my family intact.
I was in shock and almost cried. I could feel my face is burning that I’m about to burst in tears. I realized at that time that no matter what I did to fight for our love against my parents back then, no matter how I tried to understand his shortcomings, no matter how I struggle to go to work on a graveyard shift, no matter how stressful my job was and no matter how I changed for him, there is still that fact that there are more girls out there who can still surpass me even if it’s only in terms of outer appearance. Then I thought, if in case he did that, even if he didn’t tell me I will know it, talk about a woman’s intuition. And when that happens, he will no longer have a home to return to, he will not even see his children his entire life and I will work hard to surpass whoever he replaced me with. And in terms of getting what he deserve, I will hold on to his seaman documents to make sure he never embark a ship again, why? Why not? My family financed all his trainings so I will not let them get a smooth life, let them sunk into poverty just like when we were just starting our lives together. Whoever that woman is she just hooked up with my husband because he’s a seaman, but she will never be with him if he has absolutely nothing. Compared to me, I was with him through the storms we’ve gone thru when he’s nothing but a jobless man but still I loved him with all my heart and worked my butt off for our family to stay alive. I also thought that starting from now I will save up as much as I can, no matter how little his salary for the meantime, I will try my best to save up money. The lady said that his money will be my weapon, of course I will not give it back to him, if he wants it then he has to compensate for the damages he’s done with my life, give me back my bright future, my car, my luxury, everything that I lost, and all the money I spent for him, well as if he can give me back all of those, of course not, so he can’t have his money. Even if he say that it’s his money, then I will demand my money then from him, the money I earned for the 6 years working in the call center industry, he can check all my payslips to sum up every centavo, but of course, even with all his saved money, my salary over the 6 years of work is way too big to compare to his.
After the visit, we got home around 7 pm and I still have a hung over with what the lady have told me. I cried, I cried a lot, it is dreadfully painful if he would have an affair behind my back. Just the thought of it my chest hurts and tears are falling uncontrollably. I was awake crying until 3 in the morning the next day. When I woke up, my eyes are bloated. But even the next day, whenever I recall it I still can’t help myself but to cry. I am the worst, when I try to recall back, I should’ve taken care of myself better. I am so hard working that I didn’t care how I look, and eventually I have forgotten about myself. I recall my husband asking me to wear proper clothes and fix myself a little whenever I prepare myself for work. I did try but I have gained weight already since I didn’t take notice of it until my clothes won’t fit anymore. So after so much thinking, I guess I could also blame myself if he will betray me.
But I thought fortune telling is just a guide, not necessarily the reality, whatever’s going to happen in the future is up to us and no one knows what is exactly is going to happen. For now, our relationship is still okay, I trust my husband and I could not imagine him cheating on me. So I have time to prepare myself for his return. Actually, I have already started to lose weight even before the palm reading happened. But thanks to that, I am more serious now and started doing everything I can to make myself prettier and I’m getting great results. I already told him over the phone before that I will go on a diet before he returns. He’s fine with it but he’s worried, he thought that I might not eat enough and get sick. Even so, when he returns I will make sure that I will surprise him. Still I pray to God to please not to let temptation win over him now or in the future and I will do the best I can to remain his only woman.
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